Suffering and How it Fits Into God's Plan
As I reflect on my life (which is pretty much all-the-time, as my mind is pretty much impossible to shut off for more than a second), one thing that I have learned is how things that the vast majority of the world, including myself thought were horrible things, and cynical thoughts really aren’t that terrible (still terrible, but maybe not as bad as thought) and aren’t cynical. Yes, I know, it seems like I’m spouting nonsense. Let me explain.
The whole point of this is to talk about suffering. We mere mortals, including Christians view pain and suffering as bad things. It’s understandable, it hurts, it’s not fun and we do everything we can to avoid such things. In fact suffering is used as arguably the number one argument (yes, that was a terrible redundant statement, get over it) why God doesn’t exist and/or doesn’t care, so no one should be religious, or in some cases, just Christian.
I’m someone who has suffered, a lot. Now, obviously not as much as a starving child in Africa or a child sexually abused, for those I am not. I have on the other hand spent the majority of my life bullied, emotionally abused, verbally abused, gaslighted, and suffering with gender dysphoria. I have borderline personality disorder (which is unfortunately uncurable in addition to gender dysphoria) and have been suicidal for the better part of five years now. In addition to that, my family has always been poor (by American standards, of course), barely scraping by, if even that. It’s a life that has left me beat down and weary. It’s safe to say I have suffered and am in great pain. Because of this, I have gotten to the point that I am pretty comfortable in saying that some people were literally made to suffer and that’s not a bad thing per se. Yes, I know, I’m a cold-hearted jerk for saying that and quite cynical, but I disagree.
First, what do I mean by “some people were literally made to suffer?” I do not mean that God pre-ordained before they were born that He was creating them for the sole purpose to suffer, and that would be their sole identity in His eyes. I mean that He has allowed Satan to have a greater control of allowing pain and suffering than normal. Sometimes though, it could be that God just put them into a place where suffering is almost certain, like the starving children in Africa. That still makes God seem like a jerk doesn’t it? On the surface, yes, but I view that as a very unhealthy view. What I believe to be the healthy view is that God has allowed it for OUR BENEFIT. Wait, what? I know. This is something that took me a very long time to come around to. In the midst of suffering, it’s very hard to see anything but the pain, and it sucks, and you think “how could God let me go through this?” I understand, because I have borderline personality disorder (BPD) I am incapable of loving or receiving love and will always push others away (sounds like the perfect recipe for marriage, right?). In other words, I cannot feel love. It’s truly horrible, and has brought me to the point of attempting suicide many times, because we humans require love, to the point where babies will literally shrivel up and die without it. As an adult, I obviously haven’t physically shriveled up and died, but I have emotionally and mentally. I have accused God and been angry at Him many times over this. Now, I have a different viewpoint, that through this suffering I can be brought much closer to Him and have come much closer to Him as a result.
Now, that said, to get to this point, you have to do something that is literally impossible to do on our own. We have to be humbled. We have to truly realize that we can do nothing on our own. I have reached that point, I have realized that I am literally nothing without God. Now, I won’t pretend that I always run to God first or always rely strictly on Him, but I am at the point that I at the very least am more inclined to go to Him first, or think of it while relying on my own “strength” (and in the end I always end up realizing that I have none). Only once we have reached this conclusion can you realize that suffering is one of God’s ways to bring us closer to Him and is a method of growing spiritually. By relying on God’s strength when we’re suffering we are telling Him that we trust Him and He will teach us new things, give us blessings we could not imagine when relying on ourselves and most important, show us who He truly is, how loving, caring, perfect, strong, and powerful He is.
So, how do we relate this to starving children? The world is a broken place, thanks to man’s decision to sin. Sin causes us to make very harmful choices, as can be seen in just about every aspect of those starving, whether in America, Africa, China, etc. Now, that to say, not all those who are starving are doing so because they themselves made terrible choices, freak accidents happen, or in some cases, systematic bad choices made by others, like what is usually the case in places such as in Africa, though there are many who can only blame themselves as well. First, this is the perfect opportunity for the church to shine, bringing food and water to those who need it. For we all know (or hopefully know), if you’re not providing for another’s physical needs why would they listen to you on spiritual things? When one is suffering they can only focus on that. Once you have established yourself as one who cares about their current physical struggles (and/or mental struggles), will they be acceptable to listen to you tell the good news of Jesus Christ to give them true hope. So, in reality, this kind of suffering is nothing more than opportunity for the church to rise up, rather then for those starving to learn strictly to rely on Him, though that would be the ideal thing to happen in a perfect world (though in a perfect world we wouldn’t have people starving, so…). All this to say, suffering and pain has a purpose, and it’s not just to make us miserable, it’s for us to compare and contrast our misery inflicted on ourselves and God’s goodness to us.
The whole point of this is to talk about suffering. We mere mortals, including Christians view pain and suffering as bad things. It’s understandable, it hurts, it’s not fun and we do everything we can to avoid such things. In fact suffering is used as arguably the number one argument (yes, that was a terrible redundant statement, get over it) why God doesn’t exist and/or doesn’t care, so no one should be religious, or in some cases, just Christian.
I’m someone who has suffered, a lot. Now, obviously not as much as a starving child in Africa or a child sexually abused, for those I am not. I have on the other hand spent the majority of my life bullied, emotionally abused, verbally abused, gaslighted, and suffering with gender dysphoria. I have borderline personality disorder (which is unfortunately uncurable in addition to gender dysphoria) and have been suicidal for the better part of five years now. In addition to that, my family has always been poor (by American standards, of course), barely scraping by, if even that. It’s a life that has left me beat down and weary. It’s safe to say I have suffered and am in great pain. Because of this, I have gotten to the point that I am pretty comfortable in saying that some people were literally made to suffer and that’s not a bad thing per se. Yes, I know, I’m a cold-hearted jerk for saying that and quite cynical, but I disagree.
First, what do I mean by “some people were literally made to suffer?” I do not mean that God pre-ordained before they were born that He was creating them for the sole purpose to suffer, and that would be their sole identity in His eyes. I mean that He has allowed Satan to have a greater control of allowing pain and suffering than normal. Sometimes though, it could be that God just put them into a place where suffering is almost certain, like the starving children in Africa. That still makes God seem like a jerk doesn’t it? On the surface, yes, but I view that as a very unhealthy view. What I believe to be the healthy view is that God has allowed it for OUR BENEFIT. Wait, what? I know. This is something that took me a very long time to come around to. In the midst of suffering, it’s very hard to see anything but the pain, and it sucks, and you think “how could God let me go through this?” I understand, because I have borderline personality disorder (BPD) I am incapable of loving or receiving love and will always push others away (sounds like the perfect recipe for marriage, right?). In other words, I cannot feel love. It’s truly horrible, and has brought me to the point of attempting suicide many times, because we humans require love, to the point where babies will literally shrivel up and die without it. As an adult, I obviously haven’t physically shriveled up and died, but I have emotionally and mentally. I have accused God and been angry at Him many times over this. Now, I have a different viewpoint, that through this suffering I can be brought much closer to Him and have come much closer to Him as a result.
Now, that said, to get to this point, you have to do something that is literally impossible to do on our own. We have to be humbled. We have to truly realize that we can do nothing on our own. I have reached that point, I have realized that I am literally nothing without God. Now, I won’t pretend that I always run to God first or always rely strictly on Him, but I am at the point that I at the very least am more inclined to go to Him first, or think of it while relying on my own “strength” (and in the end I always end up realizing that I have none). Only once we have reached this conclusion can you realize that suffering is one of God’s ways to bring us closer to Him and is a method of growing spiritually. By relying on God’s strength when we’re suffering we are telling Him that we trust Him and He will teach us new things, give us blessings we could not imagine when relying on ourselves and most important, show us who He truly is, how loving, caring, perfect, strong, and powerful He is.
So, how do we relate this to starving children? The world is a broken place, thanks to man’s decision to sin. Sin causes us to make very harmful choices, as can be seen in just about every aspect of those starving, whether in America, Africa, China, etc. Now, that to say, not all those who are starving are doing so because they themselves made terrible choices, freak accidents happen, or in some cases, systematic bad choices made by others, like what is usually the case in places such as in Africa, though there are many who can only blame themselves as well. First, this is the perfect opportunity for the church to shine, bringing food and water to those who need it. For we all know (or hopefully know), if you’re not providing for another’s physical needs why would they listen to you on spiritual things? When one is suffering they can only focus on that. Once you have established yourself as one who cares about their current physical struggles (and/or mental struggles), will they be acceptable to listen to you tell the good news of Jesus Christ to give them true hope. So, in reality, this kind of suffering is nothing more than opportunity for the church to rise up, rather then for those starving to learn strictly to rely on Him, though that would be the ideal thing to happen in a perfect world (though in a perfect world we wouldn’t have people starving, so…). All this to say, suffering and pain has a purpose, and it’s not just to make us miserable, it’s for us to compare and contrast our misery inflicted on ourselves and God’s goodness to us.
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