How Do I Move On With Life?

So, now that the Lord has removed the uncontrollable urge to transition right away, what do I do now? Do I continue preparing for a future life as Anna? Or do I focus on living life as male? I know the Lord is telling me to "wait" for transition (which is hard), but what do I do in the meantime? On one hand I feel that since I do believe transitioning to be in my future, that I should continue preparing, but at the same time, I feel that I'm not abiding by "wait", you know, I'm not actually waiting, I'm pushing for something I'm not to have at the moment if I don't focus on trying to be a guy. I honestly don't know. Why does this have to be so hard?

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