Ramblings of a Transgender Christian

Allright, I know that this is going to be incredibly controversial, but I'm saying it anyway. So, I know that it's viewed as a bad thing that there are so many denominations and sects of the Christian church, but I don't think it's necessarily so bad. Now, the infighting and fighting with other groups is bad, but just the act of having so many is not. Here's why. The Bible can be interpreted in many ways. Why is that? Because God made it so that we NEED to have different beliefs on what certain scriptures say to help us grow closer to Him. How boring would it be if we all had the same needs! Now, here's where I'm really going to get controversial. Arminianism vs. Calvinism. Look, I know many reading this probably have extremely strong beliefs on this, but how is it that several people can interpret the hotly debated verses and be so confident in their interpretation? Is it truly that they're such sin-filled heretics that are fooling themselves, or is it

So, these last few days I've been praying, almost crying my eyes out and singing praises to Him, due to how severe the dysphoria has gotten. Then, this morning something happened, well, two things. First was around 4am, where I felt like God was telling me something. I don't want to say what it is so publicly just in case it wasn't God, because I'm not 100% certain, I'm like maybe 85%-90% though, but still, because it's a big promise. If you really want to know, just message me and I'll tell you, but I'm not posting it publicly. Like, if it was God, it was the most encouraging message I've ever heard. The second thing was when I was at my library job this morning. It was probably around 8am, and I was praying and singing, and then I felt the Spirit telling me to quiet myself. I did, and after a few minutes I felt God speak to me, now this time, I know for a FACT that it was God. Basically, He told me that He was honoring my prayers, that He going to

WARNING: This post contains content about sensitive matters. Read at own risk. Hey, sorry for the lack of posts recently. It's hard for me to do anything right now. I can't find any enjoyment in anything, at all, video games, music, blogging, etc. It's hard to do anything, heck, I'm forcing myself to write out this blogpost right now. My dysphoria has gone onto a new plane. Now it's fully embedded in me. Normally I feel an anxiety-like feeling when it attacks, and while I still do get that sometimes, now it's just there, it doesn't feel like anything, but I know it's there eating me apart. I can't really explain it well, but I just know it's there despite the fact that I can't really feel it anymore, and it never goes away. I can't sleep or if I do sleep, it's not restful. I have to either force myself to eat, or I feel like I'm literally starving, I lost the ability to walk yesterday for about 10 minutes because my dysphoria g