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Showing posts with the label Help

Churches

The western church is completely broken. They want nothing to do with actual problems. Let's pretend your soul is a clay jar. At church you're allowed to have a few cracks, and if you go to a really progressive church, maybe a piece or two removed, but nothing more. You're expected to be pretty whole, because the church just doesn't have time to help those who are broken. They've got to keep helping the happy, healthy, married people with kids, you know? That's what's really important, supporting only those who aren't broken or have very little broken. So, what if you're like me, single, abused, and transgender? Either one of those is enough to get you overlooked by the church. The church wants nothing to do with you if you're just one of those, much less all three. If I was a clay jar, I'd be broken to nothing but dust. There isn't anything left to put back together. A whole new jar would have to be created. That, churches DEFINITELY don...

My mental health: as seen in real-time

(WARNING: Strong language, highly disturbing content) So, as you should hopefully know by now, this blog is my therapy. I don't have anywhere to go to let out what's killing me, I have no one to talk to. I'm alone in this, outside of one person I can go to with very surface-level problems, but doesn't even respond most of the time, and when she does isn't any help and has made clear she's tired of my problems. So, yay. I'm fucked. Anyway, I'm just going to let it out. I'm letting it flow. I'm about to kill myself. I've got nothing to fucking live for anymore. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I can't make one good decision. I'm so fucking miserable and hopeless. I let my parents abuse get to me. I spent my childhood lying my ass off to them, and now they don't trust a single thing I say and treat me like a child. I chose to open up to the person that allowed my parents to find out I'm trans and then treat me lik...

Dead Inside

I'm dead inside. I'm so dead inside that literally the only reason that I haven't killed myself yet is because of how dead I am on the inside. I'm already dead, so what's the point? I need help. Why won't anyone listen?