Hi there! I'm Anna, a college-aged mtf transgender (pre-HRT) who is also a Christian. This blog is where I post my thoughts on anything that's on my mind, usually trans and religious stuff.
New site!!!
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Hey guys, sorry for posting this so late, but I'm moving the blog over to a new site, eventually the website's domain will change to this one, once I have the money, but for now, here is the new URL: https://transramblings.weebly.com/
As soon as I came to the realization earlier this morning that I’m just a horrible child and that I should just be what my parents want, their perfect servant son, I felt so much better. I’ve fought all these years against that, and made my life so much more miserable. Trying to be their independent daughter. Now, I’m devoting my life to being their servant son, as they wanted. That’s why they never loved me before, how could they? All I did was rebel against them, afterall, they brought me into this world so I could be that. Maybe now they will finally love and care about me.
So, yeah, as you probably noticed, there was no "Tumblr Roundup" this Sunday. I'm sorry. I meant to give a notice, but I didn't. Why did I not give a notice or do a Tumblr Roundup? Because my dysphoria is attacking me extremely hard right now. I just want to die. It won't go away. It keeps coming back, stronger than before, sucking away my will to live. Lord, may I die or start transitioning, and I mean, transition SOON. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep wanting to die. I can't keep grabbing a knife from the kitchen, taking it to my room and chickening out at the last second. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep wanting to harm myself, only to stop myself at the last second. Lord, just let me be a woman.
So, I’m less than three months away from (hopefully) transitioning. Now, all I can think is, “is this really me?” “Can I really be a woman?” “Am I really a woman?” “What if I’m wrong?” “What if being trans really is a sin and I’m just twisting the Bible to justify my lifestyle?” “Maybe I’m not really a woman” “Maybe I’m not made out for this,” “I can’t really do this.” So, yeah, lots of doubting and second-guessing now that this is getting legit real.
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No porn or cussing. Any comments made with the intent to harm others will be deleted as well. I have no problem with comments disagreeing with me, but the comments must be respectful. (That goes for comments agreeing with me as well)