Lesson Learned?

The Lord lately has been showing me how I truly am weak, as in I literally cannot do anything on my own. I am incapable, only the Lord can enable me to do anything. Recently that was by giving me the nearly uncontrollable urge to just come out to everyone and transition despite the fact it is not good for me to do so at the moment. The Lord used it to show me how little faith and strength that I truly have. So, now that my lesson has been learned, how do I keep my eyes on the Lord despite how overwhelming dysphoria can be at times and the hole in my heart where my parents lov should have been. How do I focus on Him despite these giant, distracting holes are? Then again, am I looking at this all wrong?  Maybe those things shouldn't be looked at as distractions but as the things that I need to use to keep my trust in the Lord to provide what I need. That's what I'm going with right now.

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