Ramblings of a Transgender Christian

I rarely find a song that I find myself constantly going back to, but this is one of them. MGK's honestness in this song is amazing and boy, can I relate to it. "There's something fucking wrong with me", yep, I hear you MGK. "I guess it's just my life and I can take it if I wanna", feeling that right now myself. "You'll find me alone at midnight inside my mind, tryna get things right." Literally last night for me.

Note: yes, this is really late, I meant to get this out sooner, but life kept getting in the way. Also, yes this is different from what I normally post, but I want to shake things up, and I love video games.  This E3 was actually pretty decent. Much better than last years. So, here are my top 10 games I'm excited for that was shown off at E3 in no particular order: Ori and the Will of the Wisps Jedi: The Fallen Order Marvel's The Avengers Microsoft Flight Simulator Minecraft Dungeons Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3 Astral Chain The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Halo: Infinite The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Sequel If you want to friend me on your console: Xbox username: Nicklybear  Switch friend-code: SW-7616-4767-3295 (profile name is "Nicklybear")

I'll admit, I'm going through a crisis of faith. It honestly feels like the Bible was written strictly for straight people. Straight people have one of two positions on transgenderism: 1) just being trans is a sin, and you will go to Hell, or 2) being trans isn't a sin but transitioning is. That second one is the "merciful" position. They claim by transitioning, it is so immoral that you will go to Hell. What if you're so suicidal that you have to transition? Their response? Take anti-depressants (because, you know, those things work so well). Let's go with that though. You are still miserable, still can't relate to anyone, still resentful, become more and more anti-social. That's what happens to those who don't transition when they need to. So, that's your "merciful" response, make social outcasts so far out that they can't be reached and ruin their life? Then these people wonder why they can't seem to reach out to LGBT p...

Sorry that I've barely written, my depression and dysphoria are killing me. Since I still live with my parents (hopefully that situation will be changing soon), I can't transition yet. So, what do I do to help make myself feel better? Cross-dressing, mostly (damn I can't wait until the day I can stop calling it cross-dressing), but I'll also listen to music or play video games. What do you you guys do to help distract yourself from dysphoria? I would love to hear what helps you guys. In another posts I'll go into specifics about my musuc and video game tastes. That's all for now.

See, we've all got somethin' that we trapped inside That we try to suffocate, you know, hopin' it dies Try to hold it underwater but it always survives Then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise For me, that "something" is gender dysphoria. I tried for years to deny that I was transgender. I did everything to convince myself that I wasn't, because I was scared (if you are or grew up in a Christian conservative home with dysphoria you understand). Then, a few months ago it became uncontrollable and became so overwhelming that I had to start coming out to people and decide to transition (haven't started transitioning yet, but will). All because I spent those few years suppressing it so much.