What would I do if I didn't believe in my religion?

This is something I forced myself to consider recently.  Well, this is what would have happened to me if I didn't believe in my religion.

When I was a teenager instead of letting myself get all depressed--nearing the point of being suicidal I would have done the following:

1.   Find a way to get away from home as soon as possible--I would have even run away if no other options presented themselves.
2.   Find a way to transition to living full time as a woman as soon as possible, and if I couldn't find a way to do that I would have probably tried to drown my sorrows in drugs and alcohol and if that didn't work I would have tried to kill myself until I succeeded.

How could I possibly know that I would have done this without my religion?  I know because at a point in my life--when I was about 17 this was my plan even though I had my religion and only one thing kept me from carrying it out:  God gave me a vision.  He told me of the family I would have (my wife and children) and he showed me the love and happiness we would find in each other--if I did NOT carry out my plan.

I didn't carry out my plan and I found the family God showed me and the joy we have in each other is greater than anything I could have imagined.

But did all that change how I feel about my gender?  Did it change who I see myself as in my mind?  No, it didn't.  What changed wasn't who I am or how I feel, but what I did in life.

Life isn't about how we feel or what we want--life is about what we do and why we do it.

I am so grateful for my religion.  Jesus Christ has saved my life and my soul on numerous occasions.  And I pray to God daily for those who suffer as I suffered that he will show them the love he has shown me--a love that will save them from an awful hell, as the one I would now be in if it weren't for God's love.